Guides / Life Events
Funerals: What To Do At This Stressful Time
Funeral decisions often have to be made quickly, while family members are grieving and under pressure. This guide explains how to plan thoughtfully, understand your rights, compare costs, and avoid paying for services you do not want or need.
In this guide
The first decisions to make
When a death occurs, the family usually needs to choose a funeral provider, decide how much to spend, and determine whether the remains will be buried, entombed, or cremated. Those choices affect both the cost and the timing of the arrangements.
Before meeting with a funeral home, it helps to decide on a general budget. Funerals can be expensive, and costs vary based on the type of service, the location, the casket or container selected, transportation, flowers, obituary notices, and cemetery or crematory charges.
Because these decisions are emotional, consider bringing a trusted friend or relative to the planning meeting. A second person can help take notes, ask practical questions, and keep the conversation focused on the family's actual wishes.
Planning note
If you are planning for yourself, write down your preferences now and tell a trusted person where the instructions are kept. Clear guidance can spare your family from guessing later.
Planning the service and disposition
A funeral plan can be very simple or more detailed. The right answer depends on the person's wishes, the family's traditions, religious considerations, budget, and timing.
Items to consider include:
- Filing the death certificate and ordering certified copies
- Transporting the deceased to the funeral home
- Whether embalming or body preparation is desired or needed
- Whether the service will be at a funeral home, place of worship, graveside, or another location
- Whether the body will be buried, entombed, cremated, or handled through another permitted method
- Whether there will be a viewing and whether the casket will be open or closed
- Music, readings, speakers, pallbearers, flowers, and a guest book
- Transportation, a hearse, limousines, cemetery equipment, or tents and chairs
- Obituary notices, a headstone, marker, or cemetery plot arrangements
If the deceased left written instructions, review them before making commitments. If no instructions exist, start with the simplest version of what the family wants and add only the items that are meaningful or necessary.
How the Funeral Rule protects you
The Federal Trade Commission's Funeral Rule gives consumers the right to receive price information and choose only the goods and services they want, subject to limited legal requirements. This rule is designed to make funeral pricing easier to compare and harder to bundle in ways that obscure cost.
What you can ask by phone
When you call a funeral provider and ask about prices, terms, or services, the provider must give price information that reasonably answers your questions. This allows you to compare funeral homes before visiting in person.
What you should receive in person
If you visit a funeral home to discuss arrangements, the provider must give you a general price list. The list should include the cost of individual goods and services, along with disclosures about legal rights and required purchases.
What happens after you choose services
After you select funeral goods and services, the provider must give you an itemized statement showing what you selected and the total cost. If some cash advance items, such as flowers or obituary notices, are not final yet, the provider should include a good-faith estimate.
Common costs and required disclosures
Funeral costs can increase quickly because many items are presented during a stressful meeting. The key is to separate required services from optional choices.
Embalming
In most cases, embalming is not required by law. A funeral provider may not falsely state that embalming is legally required, and must disclose when embalming is optional. Some arrangements, such as a public viewing, may make embalming a practical choice, but that is different from a legal requirement.
Caskets and cremation containers
For direct cremation, a traditional casket is generally not required. Funeral providers that offer direct cremation must make an alternative container available and must not tell you that state or local law requires a casket for direct cremation when it does not.
Cash advance items
Cash advance items are goods or services the funeral provider buys from another vendor on your behalf, such as flowers, clergy honoraria, pallbearers, or obituary notices. The provider must disclose if it adds a service fee, receives a discount, or receives a rebate on those items.
Required purchases
You do not have to buy unwanted goods or services as a condition of receiving the items you do want, except for certain basic professional service fees and items required by law. If a state or local law requires a specific item, the funeral provider must identify that requirement on the itemized statement.
Complaints, benefits, and next steps
If there is a problem with funeral arrangements or billing, start by trying to resolve it with the funeral director. If that does not work, contact the state licensing board, local consumer protection agency, or another funeral consumer organization for guidance.
Surviving spouses may also need to review possible benefits. Widows and widowers may qualify for Social Security survivor benefits as early as age 60, or age 50 if disabled, depending on their situation. A surviving spouse may also be able to begin one benefit at a reduced amount and later switch to another benefit if it is higher.
Because benefit rules can be situation-specific, speak with Social Security, the funeral director, and your CPA or advisor before finalizing financial decisions related to funeral costs, survivor income, or estate administration.
Frequently asked questions
How many certified death certificates should I order?
Many financial institutions, insurance companies, benefit administrators, and government agencies will require certified copies. Families often start with at least 10 copies, though the right number depends on the number of accounts, policies, and benefit claims involved.
Is embalming legally required?
Usually no. Embalming may be required or recommended in certain circumstances, but funeral providers may not falsely state that embalming is always required by law. Ask for the rule or requirement in writing if you are told it is mandatory.
Can I compare funeral prices by phone?
Yes. The Funeral Rule requires funeral providers to give price information over the phone when you ask. Calling more than one provider can help you compare costs before committing.
Do I have to buy a casket from the funeral home?
No. Funeral providers generally may not refuse to handle a casket purchased elsewhere, and they may not charge an extra fee simply because the casket came from another seller.
Should I make major financial decisions right after a funeral?
Usually not. Handle urgent bills, benefit claims, and estate administration, but avoid major permanent decisions such as selling a home, changing jobs, or restructuring assets until you have had time to review the full financial picture.
Need help sorting through the next steps?
Legacy CPAs can help you understand the tax, cash flow, and documentation issues that often follow a major life event.
Contact UsThis guide is for general informational purposes only and is not tax, legal, financial, or investment advice. It does not cover every situation or exception that may apply to you. Consult a licensed professional before making decisions based on this information.